Jokes: For you sports fans/historians
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Name:   LonghornBoater The author of this post is registered as a member - Email Member
Subject:   For you sports fans/historians
Date:   11/11/2015 3:35:04 PM

"Last year we couldn't win at home and we were losing on the road.  My failure as a coach was that I couldn't think of anyplace else to play."
-
Harry Neale, professional hockey coach
 
 
"I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time.  If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect."
- Doug Sanders, professional golfer
 
"All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'"
- Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers Pitcher
 
"When it's third and ten, you can have the milk drinkers; I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time."
- Max McGee, Green Bay Packers receiver
 
"I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles.  Eighty percent of the people who hear them don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having them."
- Tommy LaSorda, LA Dodgers manager
 
"When they operated, I told them to add in a Koufax fastball.  They did but unfortunately it  was Mrs. Koufax's."
- Tommy John N.Y. Yankees, recalling his 1974 arm surgery
 
"I don't know.  I only played there for nine years."
- WaltGarrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles
 

"We were tipping off our plays.  Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost."
- John Breen, Houston Oilers
 
"When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo."
- Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher
 
"I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats."
- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox owner
 
"Because if it didn't work out, I didn't want to blow the whole day."
- Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon.
 
"I have a lifetime contract.  That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball."
- Lou Holtz ,Arkansas football coach
 
"I won't know until my barber tells me on Monday."
- Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game
 
"I tell him 'Attaway to hit, George.'"
- Jim Frey, K.C. Royals manager when asked what advice he gives GeorgeBrett on hitting
 
"I learned a long time ago that 'minor surgery' is when they do the operation on someone else, not you."
- Bill Walton, Portland Trail Blazers
 
"Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash."
- George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach surveying the team
roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores.
 

"The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday."
- Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach

Other messages in this thread:View Entire Thread
For you sports fans/historians - LonghornBoater - 11/11/2015 3:35:04 PM



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