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Name:   rude evin - Email Member
Subject:   Actual conversation with....
Date:   6/16/2009 10:26:30 PM

WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Employee was fired!
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, customer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Oper: 'What sort of trouble?'
C: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Oper: 'Went away?'
C: 'They disappeared.'
Oper: 'Hmmmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
C: 'Nothing.'
Oper: 'Nothing?'
C: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything I type.'
Oper: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
C: 'How do I tell?'
Oper: 'Can you see the 'C' prompt on the screen?'
C: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Oper: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
C: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Oper: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
C: 'What's a monitor?'
Oper: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a tv. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
C: 'I don't know.'
Oper: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'
C: 'Yes, I think so.'
Oper: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.'
C: 'Yes, it is.'
Oper: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
C: 'No'
Oper: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the cable.'
C: 'Ok, here it is.'
Oper: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it is plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
C: 'I can't reach it.'
Oper: 'Ok, well can you see it?'
C: 'No...'
Oper: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
C: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle..it's because it's dark.'
Oper: 'Dark?'
C: 'Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Oper: 'Well, turn on the light then.'
C: 'I can't.'
Oper: 'No? Why not?'
C: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Oper: 'A power..... a power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
C: ''Well, yes, I keep them in a closet.'
Oper: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
C: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Oper: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
C; 'Well alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Oper: 'Tell them you're too d@mned stupid to own a computer!'





Name:   JustAGuy - Email Member
Subject:   Actual conversation with....
Date:   6/18/2009 3:54:15 PM

On my first "real" job, I was hired right as they were installing a new computer system. The first day, at 8:01 we got a call from the users that something was wrong. "We typed in our username and password" but nothing happened. Everyone ran over immediately. Can you guess? I spent the next month updating the user manual so that everywhere they were instructed to type something in, I added the line (Press Enter Key). True story.



Name:   Summer Lover - Email Member
Subject:   Actual conversation with....
Date:   6/19/2009 3:59:41 PM

I had a job in tech support for an Internet Service Provider several years back - trying to get some new customers connected on a DSL connection. Spoke to both husband and wife - asked them what they had on their desktop - reply was - uh, some tape, a stapler, some pens..... OK ... I explained that the "TV" was what I was talking about... I wanted a browser so asked them to "double click the blue E" - nothing ... "try again only faster" - nothing... "right click the blue E to get a menu" - nothing.... I wanted to verify they were working with the Internet Explorer icon so asked to describe it. The husband hedged a bit and said - "it really looks green, not blue". I asked what else he saw on the TV.... Nothing, it is not on.... "OK, where is the "E" that you were clicking (and double clicking, and right-clicking)" ... He said it was on the hard drive (translation - computer) - it was an E-Machine.... Thank God for the mute button.







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